Competitive Symmetry

I feel that competitive symmetry would be the most difficult pattern to change. In this pattern, both parties are fighting for the one up position. Meaning, both parties involved want to be the decision maker. I feel this is the most difficult to change because it is hard to get somebody to back down. In rigid complementary, one partner takes the one up and the other takes the one down. There is no competition going on, therefore the one up person may be willing to give the one down person control every once and awhile. In the submissive symmetry, one person will inevitably make a decision and then it becomes the one up and one down situation. I have been a part of many submissive symmetry patterns and have experienced first hand that somebody will eventually make a decision.

I think rigid complementary pattern would be the most damaging to the relationship. This is because one person is constantly being controlled. This person will eventually grow very tired of it and may become angry or resentful. In every case one person is going to make a decision, however, in the ideal relationship, that role is shared equally.

I think rigid complementary is also the most potentially damaging to an individual's self-esteem. One reason being that one person is always being looked over. They are never able to control the situation. When this happens over and over, they will begin to doubt themselves. Also, if the person constantly is being looked over, they will become angry and may even lash out. When this happens, the person usually in control may wonder why. They may think that the person enjoys always doing what the one up decides. In the end, both parties will become doubtful of their own opinions which may lead to doubt in the relationship.